What insomnia feels like:
- all human emotions are brewed into a triple shot espresso with whipped cream that is then injected directly into my brain.
- the elves in Ella Enchanted have invaded my brain.
- I'm casually running down an extremely steep hill and suddenly my legs become wheels.
- my bed has been magically transformed into an electric chair.
And then we discovered Jersey Shore's "The Situation's" shih tzu counterpart.
You know something’s gone awry in your life when you realize that getting dressed consists of finding the clothes in your wardrobe that most resemble the pajamas you’re already wearing.
This summer has been sadly unproductive so far. It all started off on the wrong foot when my first day of my summer vacation looked like this:
And it didn’t help that for the next week I was attacked by a flu virus that whooped my immune system’s ass.
At first, being ill depleted my appetite and my meal times were replaced with naps. When I recovered enough to regain my appetite, though, I somehow had lost the ability to give a fuck about what I was putting in my body. I was too lazy to make the oatmeal that I usually ate with a tablespoon of Nutella, so instead I just ate the Nutella. Nutella became a staple in my diet and there were, like, 12 spoons in the sink because, despite the dignity lost when I decided to eat Nutella by the spoonful, I still mustered up the moral obligation to avoid double dipping.
My life revolved around Downton Abbey, crying because I didn’t live in Downton Abbey, and commiserating with my dog about how miserable it is to sleep 20 hours a day.
I’m slowly recovering, albeit I can’t say I’m quite where I was prior to the start of summer. Exercising is still accompanied by a lot of crying, and my eating habits have yet to separate into definitive meals.
I did, though, come up with an ingenious way of getting my butt moving while maintaining my 8 to 9 hour daily internet shifts: sit on the stationary bike with laptop precariously balanced on handle bars.
Genius. If only I had the motivation to keep that up at all.
Anyone else having a slow start to their summer?
To my dear Internetians,
Thank you for stumbling upon my humble little corner of the Internet universe. My name is Bee and I am a self-diagnosed Internet addict. I’ve created this site to organize my musings, which extend from yoga, food, and internet crazes, to deep thoughts about why God forgot to give us the ability to drink and breathe simultaneously. (If you haven’t pondered that problem, now you will.) Please always feel free to give me a shout; I look forward to your comments immensely. Meanwhile, I would ask you if you’d like a cup of tea or some oatmeal, but lovingly throwing oatmeal and tea at my computer screen would be anti-productive. Instead, you’ll have to simply appreciate the thought.
Have a lovely day,